Redundancy
A mediocre greeting expelled from her breath as she quickly walked to her room without a single glance away from the floor. No one replies- but then again it was only said out of necessity.
Brash poorly thought through phrases were shoved in her face, like a burden unexpectedly dropped on her- one that cannot be brushed away, by any means.
One-two-three angry encased teardrops fall into the cold, over-stirred soup. It was the same scenario replayed again- but this time she had finally realized nothing can change it.
Hope was lost in the thick atmosphere of lies and disappointment- a mixture that was only created to replace the empty air of peace and calm. She wished it didn’t have to be that way.
Sitting in front of a blank screen, listening to the same song over and over again, she waits for time to move just a little bit quicker. The sooner it becomes time to push everything back in the darkness, the sooner she can continue to dream in the pretense of something better.
~
[2009]
Memories.
A lullaby drifts
on a breeze of sweet goodbyes.
The end of summer
stained in hues of memories,
too much for the breeze to sweep.
~
side note: this is in the form of a Tanka
Perfection
Turmoil twists her heart, as distress sings in
her thoughts. Dreams dedicated to nightmares of
never being able to feel the embrace
of Perfection’s arms.
~
side note: this is in the form of a Sapphic.
If Only She Could.
Fear was the chain and ball that shackled her to the dark, damp prison walls,
the four walls that she unconsciously created for herself.
The monster was prepared to engulf her, but only on her command.
If only she could see.
If only she could break through.
Regret was the throbbing pain that resided in her mind,
A constant migraine of guilt and remorse.
It trapped her in a room of mirrors, forcing her to see only her flaws.
If only she could shatter that image.
If only she could walk out.
Courage was the troublesome gadfly that hovered over her,
constantly reminding her that not only he could fly.
Swatting it away, she ignored her cue to say her line.
If only she could find her strength.
If only she could take a stand.
Hope was wrapped so tightly around her heart,
that the slightest tremor of disappointment would surely shatter her.
But their words were nothing more than empty spaces filled with broken promises.
If only she could face the reality of it.
If only she could handle it.
Love was ever present in the form of something she could never understand,
something that would save her from herself.
Ready to carry her with Its perfection despite her uncertainties.
If only she could believe.
If only she could let go
~
side note: I had a few more stanzas that I had added recently…but those were permanently deleted somehow :(
Trapped.
Succumbing to your expectations,
wrapping myself in the fabric of your better judgment,
giving up the inalienable stain of individualism…
Mold my life into what you will-
I am your marionette.
Feelings.
A subtle scent of flowers
lingers gently through the room-
reminding us of innocence and redemption.
But despite its entrance, it leaves all the same-
leaving remnants of guilt and remorse.
~
This was written a couple of years ago- I just changed a few things for this post. I want to forewarn everyone that my poems from the past are quite negative. They were written at a point in time where I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel and was under the impression that good doesn’t always prevail…it was a rough couple of years for me. But as of recently, with the help of some amazing people, my view of life has become quite the opposite. I have optimism and I have most certainly have hope, neither of which resided in my heart at the time of these poems. Anyways, I just wanted to clear that up before I post any more- that way I can assure you all that I am not a hypocrite or am by any means depressed ;).
